Live in the Dream

Birth of Hydrogen
The first lucid dream

This is how the universe began. What happened right after the big bang, or was it just before? Before conscious awareness started where was time? Scientists have a theory saying that, the passing of time can be perceived to pass at different speeds, from different peoples personal perspectives. But would time be long or short, without any living being to perceive it? What speed would time move forward at without any life? Time is said to be formed in your brain at your temporal lobe, where we have our space time perception ability. This allows us to understand and perceive time. Can time exist without life? Without memory of what’s past? DNA and the fossil records are both forms of memory.
Scientists say "in the first trillionth of a second of the Big Bang such and such happened." By whose watch? Who was watching? And since the big bang is said to have been still in the process of creating time, what were seconds at that point anyway?
The basic instinct of the universe is it's desire to reproduce. Survival of the fittest is only possible because of survival, which is only through reproduction. The big bang is said to be the first act of reproduction in the universe, reproducing on mass scale hydrogen atoms. Life, reality itself, is powered by memory and entropy. It’s the memories of what we could call "quantum DNA" and forgetfulness. Though nothing is ever truly lost or forgotten as such, everything is recorded just not always "looked" upon or "read" by anyone. But it's out there on record somewhere.
This is a story about a very old "soul" whose "evolution" helped to create the world you and I know and love. It's a tale from before time began. A story all of us are part of, and that made us who we are today. This soul doesn’t have a name but lets call it Gravity or maybe Attraction or Love? That’s depending on who is telling the story, and who is listening. Some would even say our friend wasn't really a soul at all, just energy waiting from before time begun, to become... to become the big bang? But longing, hoping, waiting, anticipating and enjoying the possibilities of what might become. "It's life Jim, but not as we know it." Before any solid thing came to be, nothing mattered. No matter existed, no mass, just energy creating motion, E=motion. Just pure energy. Just pure emotion.
This concept proposes that all energy in it's most basic form, is closer to what we call emotion than simply energy. We know that without a reason without a purpose without an emotional drive, nothing is done, no drive, no energy, no motion without energy. E=motion.
Energy was just waiting for the big bang, the moment of creation, and somewhere in that energy brewing, ...the rules, the laws of physics, waiting to take form. The primordial "energy" soup of possibilities. Waiting to build up to explosion point. To wait for anything takes time. Time to form rules. Time to decide not to wait any longer. Even building up energy to explosion point takes time. So time may have come before the big bang, in a tiny fraction of a second before the big bang, before energy focused it's intention to become a matter. In that tiny fraction of a second before time was created an infinity of time went by.
Lets begin the story when the idea of hydrogen first came about. The Energy was ..."thinking" about hydrogen. This idea mattered to the energy that "thought" it up, though it was more a feeling than a thought, no words yet existed to form thoughts as we understand them. Just energy focusing attention on a matter. What should we call the energy, we should pick one of those names, Gravity? Attraction? Love? No, for now lets just call it Hydrogen. The first Atom of matter, the first atom that mattered.
Things back then were expressed more by just pure expression itself, than with words, or with thought out descriptions. Hydrogen though, not yet physically expressed within space and time, was, none the less, Energies first expression. The first `word` if you like. Energy had spoken a word, and hydrogen was that word. And through hydrogen all other things were to be created.
It had been conjured up by the Infinite matrix of energy. The infinite energy of love, attraction, pull, force, weight or gravity, which was holding infinity as a single infinite experience. An infinite singularity. An infinite black hole. Keeping things in oneness togetherness. No words existed to speak of it back then. You had to be there. To simply be a hydrogen atom was sheer joy. Joy is also a word, but then it was the same word as Love and gravity. All were one single experience.
So, our friend Hydrogen was a particle so small and insignificant, quite alone yet never really appearing to matter. Our friend was made of two particles. Simple mathematics, one Nucleus with an Electron orbiting, that’s two particles of matter, (1+1=2 / N+E=Atom) these two particles are in fact only one, atom of hydrogen. Yet it was the only one in existence the first matter, but it wasn't lonely and it didn't mind. The mind of our first soul was not aware of any problems to perplex it. Hydrogen was busy giving all it's attention to a curious orbiting electron which fascinated it. Our friend was happy to simply be, but sometimes wondered "am I the observing nucleus, the watchful spinning eye following the progress of that electron..? ...or am I the electron being observed in orbit, or am I both?" In truth all the energy of our universe had become a single atom. Energy was now Hydrogen.
Lets try for a moment to experience what it was like to be our friend waiting for the big bang. To experience being the "idea of Hydrogen," the first law of physics, actually being formed, way before the big bang as it creates the "hydrogen law.".
It was still only, One molecule, but while existing outside time and space it could see the infinity of all the possibilities from the beginning to the end of time. The whole potential of the creation within our space time continuum. In truth, it only had a one second memory, so all of time, all of reality at that time only lasted for that one second. It experienced only.... a spinning awareness. Happiness..?
But gravity was pressing down infinitely upon The One. "And Oh... the feeling." All alone, aware only of something elusive, just nearby but so far away, orbiting always rushing away from view, just when it thought it had seen the electron, it had moved away again. This electron's orbit was a spherical wave length, all around the nucleus, where the crest of that wave was a single point or `particle` called the Electron. But if you tried to focused attention on it’s whereabouts just as you thought you had found it, it had already moved away.
The central focus of attention, that was spinning furiously in search of the electron, was the very energy that was driving the electron in it's orbiting spin. While at the same time the attraction or desire to find it kept it from flying away, held it prisoner. Always pulling it back in an eternal spin.
This first primitive thought, became one of the first rules or laws of our universe, the particles remembered they were orbiting each other. This was the law of gravity. This memory was one of the only thoughts the universe had ever had but the universe saw that it was good. That memory, or desire to keep this good thing going, was in itself the very gravity which was pulling the particle back "We are not 2 things, we are one. Lets stay together. Don't divide stay united. Together we have this spinning purpose."
But this first divide, the one particle realising it was made of two parts, had formed a crack in time and space. Until now the only memory that had existed was a single moment of eternal joy. That one second memory of bliss. Now memory saw something new, more than just a single moment. All memory had ever needed to know was that it was happy. Now something new had formed a focus for that happiness. No longer simply enjoying the spinning ride of following and observing the electron. But the realisation that the electron was also as real as was the nucleus itself. That real-isation was making the electron real. Was this electron, now seen as a separate entity, simply the focus of happiness, or actually the cause of happiness, Did this electron know why, or how happiness had simply always been? Not one singularity, but two particles. Division had been created.
Memory did the only thing it ever had done, it remembered, it remembered the division that had been realised, it relived that realisation over, again and again, each time the awareness of this new attention growing. Still only a very small memory span.
Until, Deja Vu, it started to remember it had been here before, the realising over and over. Each time Hydrogen remembered it’s spinning dance, it remembered it was two particles. It’s one second memory grew stronger, faster, brighter.
This divide, two particles, raised questions. Why two? Do I ever stop spinning, and looking for the electron? If I do find it, is the fun all over? For a long time everything seemed fine. The electron was as good as held captured, by the desire to never let it get away. The nucleus could feel the presence of the electron whizzing around in orbit and continued to enjoy searching for it.
But the questions raised by this new realisation, that had formed this new reality, created new emotions. Not always positive emotion, sometimes seeking, sometimes finding. Sometimes wanting, sometimes getting. Searching, finding, wanting getting.
The longer one single emotion was experienced and held on to, the more effect, and impact of joy upon finding the opposite emotions which balanced it out. Two emotional experiences, in contrast creating a new kind of joy. The bitter and the sweet. Thoughts were still basic. Here, there, stay, go, spin quickly, stay motionless, seek, find. But a variety of experiences were altering the nature of time and length of memory, and desires began to long for the return of certain emotions, that very hope creating the gravity which pulled it back to that experience. The universe had learned to say "again, again" like a young child. This very longing, lengthened time itself, the longing made time longer. The universes one second memory started to grow. It's consciousness started to expanded.
A point of consciousness at the nucleus, no thoughts other than a heavy feeling of something really big about to happen, pregnant expectation, the point right in the centre, aware of this dissy spinning, the idea of the electron's orbit. As the conscious nucleus observes, that observing powers the electron's spin. What would happen if it escaped if it got away. Would the spin end? Would it be over? Did it want to get away?........ The nucleus was happy, what if the electron was not. What if it wanted to get away? The letting go of the desire to hold on to it, let it escape. Crack! The electron flew off.
It was alone, back to where it had been as a singularity. As a single particle spinning. Happy. But something new, something different, a memory. It remembered it had been an electron but now it was like the nucleus. The electron itself had became like the parent nucleus, it remembered it's entire history, and quantum DNA caused it to copy it’s parent. It found it had it’s own electron trying to escape. Realising it was a perfect replica of it's father. There must be someone out there just like me, my father a nucleus like I am.
But the first hydrogen atom had already created a new electron to replace the fun it missed. Over and over and over, releasing the new electrons, each forming themselves into new hydrogen atoms, each son copied their father. Hydrogen started to breed like wild fire. And in the blackness of space all around, tiny points of light started to appear everywhere.
We all experience this simple beginning as we evolve from a single fertilised egg cell. As our brain cells develop our consciousness expands, we grow in our intelligence and time seems to last longer, yet move faster. And we are born.
Scientists tell us how gravity pulled the clouds of hydrogen together forming into vast nebulas and eventually collapsing into huge balls of hydrogen, which under their own immense weight and gravity, ignited causing these hydrogen stars to burn. These nuclear fusion reactor stars, were able to create new types of atoms within their fiery furnaces. Then exploding and spreading these new materials in new huge nebula clouds. These nebula clouds being described as star nurseries, due to the fact that they too eventually collapse, just as the hydrogen nebula clouds had done, forming in to more complex star types. Creating ever new types of atoms.
The process constantly evolving new types of atomic structures. The birth and death of stars and their reincarnation into new stars. And in the fires of a trillion suns, "god" (Love) was born from out of "hell" (Fire) to create the heavens we see above. All are born of birth pains, it’s a universal "law." Not a law made by "god," but learned by god. Why pain? You may as well ask, why life? If we can't feel, we can't feel love. Ideas evolved in the "mind" of the universe, from these engines of creation, the stars were born. These ideas we call the laws of physics.
But part of all that is memory, is the memory of the divided parts themselves. Which memory won't allow for the reintegration of these divided parts to go back to being just one undivided thing again. Memory of division creates belief in division. Belief in the separation. As long as there is memory of division there can be no return to the original singularity. There can be no destruction of our universe into the opposite of the big bang, the big crunch, squishing everything back to an infinite singularity. Division is the reality, singularity was an illusion. The belief that only one single thing exists is shattered by the truth that there’s more. Forgetfulness could let things go back to what they were to forget the divide and believe in the singularity.
But the divide itself is pulling equally with their trillion desires to continue to exist, to be remembered as the divided parts.
Pain is one of our feelings, man now understands pain can be controlled, Morphine is one of the drugs used to control pain. Morphing pain into something else. So today birth pains can be removed. We all see and learn with our two eyes. With those dark black pupils in the centre of our eyes, which are able to see the light. we learn as pupils of darkness. Your only a pupil at the beginning in your birth process while going through your growing pains. But our eyes are not black only our pupils, our eyes are white like the stars. Our two personalities the emotional and the logical or the spiritual and physical. These are our two methods of vision. Two ways to view the world. In birth pains we are born and grow, and after the darkness we see light.
We need to be aware of the brains two halves the two lobes one said to be our emotional half the other our logical half. To be a balanced person, we need to focus, and be in control of both our thoughts and our emotions. Use all of our brain or we are only half a person.
White light can create darkness because if it is all you can see it can blind you. So white light alone can really show us nothing but the "darkness" of it's own blinding self. Only in division does light start to form into colours. A triangular prism breaks white light down to the seven colours of the rainbow. The colours are reduced to a lesser power level. Light reduced in power moves towards the other end of the scale, which is darkness. So in darkness, is where we find the pupil who learns to see. White light only produces colours when it's divided. Those colours when blended can create all of our visionary range of imagery. Everything we will ever see.
Die-vision. Division; a form of "death" to vision? Or the very thing which allows vision to be possible. Darkness has no power, it is not an energy source, but a complete lack of the energy of light. Light always overpowers darkness. No one ever made a torch to shine out a beam of darkness, into an area of light. In division we create new possibilities. As a singularity without division we stay the same forever.
by A Bell